Sunday, January 31, 2010

Finding Hope

I am utterly bereft of a topic today, which can always prove dangerous.  Its when I have no creative focus that I start to turn inward.  And while omphaloskepsis can be useful in evaluating one's own character for flaws that can and should be improved upon, when one has recently had an emotional upset, it can become extremely detrimental.  Add to this a constant state of nausea as well as extremely poor sleeping habits, and you have what should be the making of some really fantastic creative material... right?

I would turn to poetry, but that kind of catharsis requires perspective, a luxury I currently don't have.  Songwriting seems the natural choice, except it generally needs to come from a place of joy for me, and while I hesitate to say I am categorically joyless, joyful is not a word I would use to describe myself at the moment.

What then?  Cryptic blog posts that hint at trauma but don't actually reveal anything?  (sorry)  Booze?  Tobacco?  Helpful potentially, but also self-destructive.  And while I have truly amazing friends, I don't wish to over-burden them with my pathos.  How, then, shall I channel my thoughts and emotions into something productive?

I think, just this once, I shall allow my over-abundant imagination to write its own happy ending.  It might not come, but sometimes we cling to hope not because it's realistic, but because we need it.  I wear a dove around my neck to remind myself that peace, hope, and love prevail, and I think its time to fulfill that.

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