Monday, November 14, 2011

To My Future Stepkids - Installment 1

Hi Aurora and Gabe,

We haven't met in person yet, only over Skype and phone.  But already, I love you.  I ask your father about you constantly, and I rejoice in your victories, and sigh at your mistakes.  Trying to help your father be reunited with you has been a huge part of my world for the last few years, and now that we're so close, I'm a little scared.

I'm so terrified that I'll injure you.  That you'll resent me for not being your mom.  That you'll resent the kids I'd like to have with your father one day.  That I'll mess you up without even meaning to or realizing it.  But I promise you that I will always be doing my best to be fair and nurturing, to love you and cherish you the way you deserve.

I want to be a good stepmom to you.  A friend and advocate, someone you respect as an authority figure, and look up to as a role model.  I want to help your father raise you into functional, beautiful grown-ups, and cry at your weddings and cheer at your graduations, volleyball games, recitals... I want to be a good step-parent.

But I'll need your help.  I know that I'm not your mom, and I may have different rules that you're used to.  We both need to be understanding of each other as we try to get used to living with each other. At some point we will all make mistakes, but I think if we all try to work together to make a family, we'll be stronger and happier for it.

We're still working hard at finding a job for your father, and until then, I'm making myself and our house ready for you.  I just want so badly for us all to be a family, I hope that wanting and wishing and working is enough.

See you soon.


  1. A lot of this is similar to the concerns Drew has expressed about being Allie's stepdad. And like I told him, it's not really different being a biological parent. You worry about the sane things. You'll be brilliant. <3

  2. That was so beautiful, Claire. They're lucky kids to have to as a stepmom.