Glorious Purpose

I have been filled with purpose lately. I'm not sure if it's because I've finally settled into my new routine, or because I'm bored.

Don't get me wrong, my job is awesome. But much of it has ceased to be challenging. I've been here almost six months, and while I will always be learning how to be better any anything I do, I've gotten pretty darn good at processing loans for {REDACTED} Bank.

I'm itching to create. To write. To stretch.  And the weirdest thing is this comes on the heels of some stressful changes. Scruffy just got laid off, and Scruffy Jr. and the Scruffette are leaving next Monday to spend the summer with their mom.

Still, rather than being depressed, I'm filled with this anxious desire to create, as though my brain is a hot fire that will burn up if I don't make something.

It's kind of exciting, actually. While it might not necessarily indicate that I'm more emotionally stable, it's certainly more productive than the last time I was nervous and anxious, where I elected to do exactly nothing.

The problem isn't lack of creativity or even really lack of time. It's a Blue Sky issue: I'm staring at a blank page with no restrictions on what to make and the options are endless. And of course, to choose one project is to deny others...

For now. 

I think that's the thing I need to remember when I'm in this particular place at all times. To fully execute one project is not to deny every completing another one.  It's just to say, "this is the thing I am doing now," not "and this is all I will ever do."

Huh.  I guess my friend Mai has a point with this whole writing meditation thing.