SOPA

Hello Congresswoman Richardson,

Thanks very much for your reply.  I would like to add a few thoughts to my previous letter.

As an independent musician, I share your concerns regarding the pirating of copyrighted works.  The practice has become so commonplace that fans have told me to my face that they had shared my music with their friends.  This cuts into my profit margins considerably, especially since my works are largely self-produced.

However, I strongly feel that attempting to control the internet is not the solution to this problem.  Independent producers such as myself have become famous because of the internet, and I can't help but suspect that the reason so many large companies are backing this bill is because they're tired of losing their business to independent artist like myself.  We have become tired of a broken system where talent and quality doesn't matter as much as having the right "look" or being connected to the right people, and so we've created a community of our own where our art can be shared at our discretion.  I can't help but feeling that companies like Sony and Time Warner are resentful of the internet, because they now must try to catch up the proverbial bus that many of us have been on for a decade or more.

Controlling the internet will not make thieves into honest people, it will only make them more creative, or perhaps even more violent in how they steal.  There will always be people who think it's okay to take what isn't theirs, and passing a law that limits one avenue will not change that.  The only thing it will serve to do is hurt small businesses, and independent artists and musicians.  If those people are not able to make the money they currently make through internet sales, we will see a rise in unemployment, a downturn in economic growth, and potentially an increase in civil unrest.

Congresswoman, I know that there are many people writing to you today, and I am one voice among many.  Perhaps it will not be my words, but our numbers that move you.  Perhaps you will see that the only people who want to limit the internet are people who want to limit the information available to only what they think is relevant.  Or perhaps these measure will pass, and we will see a new kind of militarized state emerge.   You and your fellows are in the unique position of creating history today, and I hope you make choices with the future in mind.  

Thank you for your time today, Congresswoman Richardson, and Happy New Year.

Warm Regards,

Claire Broderick

Smug Alert in Long Beach

There are lots of places you can see the best and worst of people, but I think that in no situation is the true measure of a person so blatant as at the supermarket on a workday at 6pm.  Everyone there is tired and hungry, and most of them just want to get in, get out, and either make or eat dinner.

Today was no except, as I had two... okay three... okay no FOUR, just four things to pick up on the way home tonight: bread, milk, beer, wine.  (I know, the basics, right?).  Long Beach recently passed a city ordinance banning plastic grocery bags.  They publicized this new law and its implementation exclusively in local print media.  Give that one a whirl in your brain for a minute.

Anyway, for once, I not only had bags in my car, but remembered the law, and remembered that I needed one.  Smugly clutching my cloth bag to my chest, I walked the aisles of the newly-opened Fresh and Easy just blocks from my house, zeroing in on the things I was actually there for so I wouldn't be distracted by shiny things like cheese.  Actually, thinking now I realize we needed cheese... phooey...

Moving on.  I made it through the store in record time, and got to the real time-buster; the check-out lines.  This is where the true test of humanity lies.  Because here we are, knowing that a long wait here can literally double the time before we are sitting in our couch in our comfy pants eating whatever constitutes dinner and wondering whether, "traffic" is a reasonable excuse to open a bottle of wine.  Pro tip: yes it is.

Living in Long Beach, I get to see all kinds of truly colorful characters.  From the homeless lady up and down sixth street who always has hair extensions well past her waist, to the most depressed-looking man ever whose hole-ridden Members Only Jacket is always freshly cleaned.  Fresh and Easy's line today was no exception.  In an effort to cut down on staffing, I'm sure, this chain has no checkers, only people to verify age and make sure nobody steals stuff.

The woman I was next to in line was very distracted.  I'm not sure if this store was new to her, or if she simply was a distractible person, but when the person ahead of her had finished, she was facing in the complete opposite direction of the check stand.  Feeling the vultures circling overheard, I called., "Excuse me ma'am, but I think they're done."

Sure enough, as she thanked me and stepped forward, there he was.  A tall, thinnish gentleman who was certainly old enough to know better, halted in the very act of sneaking between the stand and the woman's basket to preempt her spot in line.   He awkwardly stepped back in front of his own line and shot me a look of consternation that quickly turned to mollification as he saw me looking him.

"Not today, sir," I thought, as I moved forward to my own stand to make my purchase.  And so, smugly, I paid for my things using my reusable bag (smug) which I remembered (smug smug), and did NOT hit the lady with the death wish who literally ran behind my car (smug smug smug).  I came home to find a parking space on my side of the street on street-sweeping eve (smug smug smug smug).  Sometimes being a good person is it's own reward, but it's nice to get instant Karma as well.

Surviving, Not Thriving

I don't generally like to air my laundry out in public, mostly because my frilly chonies are nobody's business.  However, I know a lot of people are going through some tough times right now.  Maybe someone will feel better knowing they're going through something similar to me, maybe someone will have a good idea on how to cope.  Or even better yet, a job lead for a brilliant young artist with a Bachelor Degree in Game Art and Design.  When I say he's brilliant, I'm not being his girlfriend.  I mean he's flippin' brilliant.  Okay, web design: not our strong suit, but I digress.

The Scruffy-Looking Nerfherder and I are pretty convinced we want to spend the rest of our lives together.  This will come as a complete shock to absolutely nobody who's ever been in the same room with the two of us.  There's just a few issues.  Well, two.  Two wonderful, fabulous, delightful issues that aren't so much obstacles, as... well, if you'll forgive an archaic use of the word... issues.

My boyfriend has two amazing children.  I haven't spent a huge amount of time with them, but I love them already and I can't wait to have them be a more permanent part of my family.  There's a bit of  hitch in the giddyup, though, and that's finances.  Right now, we are just exactly making ends meet.  This is partly because times are tough, and partly because the SLNH just graduated from college last July and still hasn't been able to find full-time employment.

We can't take the next step to becoming a family until we can actually BE a family, and we can't do that without the kids, who are currently with Grandma and Grandpa until things get sorted out.  We certainly can't move the kids into our one bedroom apartment, and we can't afford a two-bedroom on what I make.  So we're stuck in limbo.  Stuck in Purgatory.  Stuck in Long Beach, having discussions about rings, dresses, and how many bedrooms we might eventually need, with absolutely no way to implement our dreams, and no way of knowing when we'll be able to move forward.

It's frustrating, maddening, infuriating.  I've stopped looking forward because it hurts too much not knowing if I can or even should.  Admittedly, today is a "bad head day".  Most days I find my zen about it, because honestly, until he finds work, there is nothing to be done about it and stressing will just make me crazy.  But today, right now, I'm stressing, and crazy, and feeling a little hopeless.

Things will not stay like this forever, I know it.  My dearest darling is a very talented and likable man and eventually he'll be in the right place at the right time, and be snatched up by someone who will appreciate and use his talents.  As they say, "this too shall pass."  Perhaps somewhere in this I'll learn actual patience and Zen, rather than the semblance thereof.  Wish me luck!

Resolved

This year, I'm going to blog like it's 1999, just on the off-chance people are wrong, the Mayans DIDN'T run out of room, and WEREN'T marking the end of a cycle.  That doesn't mean I'll be using 1999 technology, just that I'll be blogging more frequently.  I realize the futility of this, if the world truly does end, there will be nobody to read my blog, however, I will die knowing I spent time recording my thoughts.  For some reason this is important to me.

As it's January the first, I fear I will join the throng in a New Years Resolution post.  I know many who shirk this tradition (though I think it's mostly out of a desire to shirk tradition in general), however I have always kept it.  I think the reason the I like to make New Year Resolutions is not because I imagine there's some mystical powers lent to projects begun on the first of January, but because most of the world recognizes this day as the beginning of a new cycle.  The old Year has died and the new Year has been born, to much love and celebration.  What better time to sit back and take stock of that which was, that which is, and that which you wish to be?

Sadly, I don't have particularly grand resolutions this year, and they're certainly not unique, however, such as they are, I'm going to write them down, if for no other reason that to look back in 2013 - which is TOTALLY HAPPENING (probably).

2011 was a very stressful year, and I am a stress-eater.  It didn't help either that I began working for an Italian food importer, where I could get all the pasta, risotto, and even wine that I wanted.  I gained about 30 pounds, to add to the 15 "I'm so happy I'm not single" pounds I already gained.  My goal this year is lose the 45 pounds I've gained since I started dating my Scruffy-Looking NerfHerder.  My plan for this is to wake up 30 minutes earlier and do something physical every day.  My plan is also to use lo-carb induction to get myself kick-started, and then simply eat more veggies, less starch, drink less, and eat at home more.

I spent a lot of 2011 worrying, to the point where I started to make myself sick.  In 2012 I am going to find my zen, and nail it to my brain.  I realize this isn't strictly the traditional zen solution to this problem, but I really like the imagery of it.  Part of my plan is to care less about what everyone else thinks and more about what I think, and part of it is to accept that I can't control everything.

This year is going to be challenging for my Scruffy-Looking NerfHerder and me.  We will move, have kidlets move with us, and probably either have or begin planning a party where I wear a white dress and invite all my friends.  I am going to need to lean on him a lot, and he on me, and so I resolve to make sure that we continue to communicate as we always have: brilliantly.

Music.  Apart from my SLNH, music is the joy and passion of my life.  This year, I am going to treat it more like the lover it is, instead of the interloper it's become.  I will practice bouzouki and piano one hour each every week, and I will write a song every week.  I will MAKE time to do this, because it's important to my emotional and spiritual growth.

I think that's a full enough docket for one year.  Wish me luck!

500 Miles

Eleven years ago, I met this girl.  Since most of my friends lived in Orange County and I was going to school at UCLA, I didn't meet her until a few months after I first heard her name.  She was incredibly popular with my friends, and I was so jealous of her.  Everyone loved her, and she and my then-boyfriend had hit it off so well that people joked she was his "Other Girlfriend."

Little did I know that this person would become my rock, one of the people I loved most in the world.  It happened slowly, as all good relationships do.  But somewhere between reading Harry Potter to each other and having all-night Buffy marathons, it was sealed.  I understood now what people meant when they said BBF.  Because our friendship has always been fluid.  Schedules and lifestyles have made the time we can spend together wax and wane.  But I've always been happiest and most centered when I could be around her more.

Now, my friend has some exciting changes happening in her life.  Moving 500 miles away, beginning an advanced degree, moving 500 miles away, learning a new city.  Did I mention she's moving 500 miles away?

This is the right decision for her, it's something she's wanted to for years, and has seriously considered for at least half of the last decade.  I am so incredibly happy for her that she's taking the next step in her life, and I will now have an even better excuse to come up to San Francisco every month or so.

But I've been in denial for a while.  "I'll think about that later," I've told myself.  In a not-unusual turn of events, we are currently working together.  And as I transferred her accounts to the people taking over for her, it hit me.  My very best friend in the whole wide world is moving 500 miles away.  And even though I've kept it together and remained really happy for her, I'm finally allowing myself to be sad for me.

This is not the end, it's not even the end of our story, it's just a new chapter.  All the same, it's still a parting of sorts, and I know my life will not be the same with her farther away.  So, selfishly, I say, "So long, Maile.  I'll miss you."

It's not Sports, it's their fans I can't stand...

My dad was an athlete all through college and high school, and so, like most dads with only daughters, attempted to instill in me a love of sports.  And it worked for many, many years.  I could still explain the basic mechanics of football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and even soccer (it was more impressive in the 80s before it was "cool").  However, something very important happened at the end of my adolescence that turned me off of sports forever.

I went to college.

And suddenly, I became part of "the team."  I was no longer an individual fan, cheering for whichever team I liked better based on record or players, or hell, even which colors or mascot I liked better.  No, I was now a Bruin, who hated Trojans at all costs.  Ironically, it was mostly Trojans who informed me of this.

While I'm all for a little friendly competition, I never really got the cross-town rivalry thing.  *I* wasn't on the team.  None of the Trojans that razzed me about being a Bruin played on any of the sports teams.  But somehow, we were bitter enemies because our schools shared a Zip Code.

The most bizarre thing is, this kind of mass hypnosis doesn't stop at college.  Tell a Raiders fan that you root for the Cowboys and you're all but persona non grata.  Or try to explain to an Angels Rally Monkey why you like the 49ers so much.  I dare you.

But that might not have deterred me if it wasn't for the chauvinism and condescension I get from the male fans whenever I show the slightest interest in sports.  Either my questions about the legality of a move are met with jeers, or my translation of the mechanics to a fellow female are met with fascination.  It's as though my gender precludes me from comprehending the mechanics of manipulating a ball around a field.

So a few years ago, I gave up.  I have no real love for sports apart from an understanding instilled in me by my father, so I think I will simply leave the cheering to the true fans.  At least until I'm old enough not to care about the other stuff.

Birthday Omphaloskepsis

I think one of the reasons some people detest birthdays is they frequently feel as though it is a knell of more time past, and less time ahead.  For me, it is a marker of progression, a clear point from which I can regard the previous trip around the sun, and determine what I most desire for the next one.

A big focus for me this year is going to be joy.  The previous year of my life has been filled with not a little doubt, pain, and fear.  And while I have had ample reason to feel these things, many people I know and admire would meet these circumstances with considerably more aplomb than I have.  This year, I wish to learn by their example and take life in stride.

Another focus for this year will be frugality.  I pay my bills on time and never want for food or gas, however I have literally no reserves, nothing set aside for the future, or even for rainy days (and Mondays - they always get me down!).  This WILL change.

Finally, I am going to "enhance my calm."  As I face the reality of two children becoming a part of my life, I know that patience and understanding are key to the development of any child.  I wish to be a positive force for love and good in these kids' lives, and so... patience for this padawan will be the name of the game.

I think that's plenty for the next trip around the sun.  Let's see how I've done on the next November the twentieth!