I've loved to sew since I was six. When I was a kid, I would beg my mom for quilting scraps and use her sewing machine to make an endless supply of small pillows and "purses" which were really just pieces of rectangular fabric sewn in half. I would give them to my mom, who would accept them graciously, though I'm sure she sighed inwardly.
In high school, I made a few of my own Halloween costumes, and took quite a few costuming classes in college, but it wasn't until I took an internship at the Renaissance Faire that I really learned to sew.
About ten years ago, I was dating a man (let's call him Captain) who worked for the original Renaissance Faire. More on that part of my Geek later. Anyway, he wanted to share his passion with me, so he asked if there was a job for me in the Costume Shop. I had no idea when I met the Costume Director that I would be meeting a woman who would change my life.
I should probably start by saying that this woman, who we'll call Momma, can be very intimidating. Large, loud, and opinionated, never afraid to offend people and always saying what she thought. Because of this, she acquire several unkind nicknames, and reputation for being... well, a bitch. On first meeting her, I was completely terrified. But out of love for Captain, I decided I could get over and stick it out for the three months I would be working for her.
Well, three months turned into 7 years. Momma became my boss, my mentor, and my friend. I even lived with her for a while when Captain and I were having financial difficulty. And she taught me so much more than how to sew. She taught me how to handle delicate situations, and the psychological value of a clean workstation. She told me stories from her past, and taught me how to craft an excellent punchline. But most important, Momma taught me to believe in myself, and helped me learn to love and respect Me.
Momma died almost three years ago, and I still cry every time I remember that I'll never see her again. Never hug her, and tell her I love her, never hear another story, never learn another nifty shortcut. She is survived by literally hundreds of costumes she made over the years, and I smile every time I see one at Faire.
And in a way, she's survived by me. She used to call me her Little Principessa, and joked that she would adopt me if my mother ever passed away. She taught me almost everything I know about sewing (just not everything she knows), and I haven't done it much since she passed, it was just too painful.
Today, I'm making a large number of costumes for my little brother's Latin club, and for the first time, it doesn't hurt to look at a sewing machine. I'm still miss her, and I still wish I could call her and ask her how to deal with crinkle chiffon, but I'm okay. I like to think she's watching me, whispering in my ear when I'm doing something clever, and screaming, "CLAIRE-BUH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" when I do something wrong.
Don't worry Momma, I bought extra and its still a week before opening.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Stepmommery
It's weird being a stepmom.
I used to have this picture in my head of how my life would look when I found my future husband. Even though I was a stepkid twice over, I always pictured I'd find someone who was unattached and we would build our lives together. It never occured to me that the love of my life might already have a life to blend with mine.
This is, of course, very silly. First, even unattached people have lives beyond the significant other. They have friends, family, career worries, money worries, goals, needs, and foibles. It's very easy to lose sight of this as a single non-parent, because your life is simply your life, and while it involves others, it's not inexorably linked to anyone's.
The second reason I should have kept an open mind about finding someone attached is kind of sad, but true. The number of divorces holds stead at a little more than half of the number of marriages. This means that, statistically, if I meet someone willing/ready to marry, chances are they're already divorced. In fact, five of the six men I've dated were then or are now divorced, and two of them have children.
There's this whole paradigm shift when you start dating someone with children. The picture of what your life is going to look like starts to shift. And there is always a moment of freak out. Mine started the evening of the first full day I spent with Scruffy's kids. I was not at all convinced that I was going to be able to handle sharing Scruffy not just with children, but with children that weren't mine. I would forever be linked to a person that Scruffy had loved before me, and for about an hour, that was completely unacceptable.
I got over it for selfish reasons. I literally cannot picture a person existing that I could ever love more than Scruffy. So I resigned myself to give it a college try, though in the back of my brain, I thought I knew that I would never be as happy as if Scruffy had never met his first wife.
But the kids changed my mind. I don't know quite when it happened, but they stopped being something I was going to have to get used to and started being status quo. Then the started being that brought me such joy. And now, I can't imagine my life without them.
It's still hard, because even though I love them, I'm not their mother. I don't know what each scar is for, I can't tell them baby stories, and there's always this feeling in the back of my brain that I'm being judged by the "real" parents around me. While I might know rationally this is untrue, the fear is still there.
We make it work though. I tell the kids stories about my family, and ask them about their scars. I do my best, and I love them, and all my parent friends tell me that's what matters. We have fun together, and love watching movies and playing games and dancing and just being a family. This is, of course, at ages 8 and 9. We'll see how the tweens and teens go...
I used to have this picture in my head of how my life would look when I found my future husband. Even though I was a stepkid twice over, I always pictured I'd find someone who was unattached and we would build our lives together. It never occured to me that the love of my life might already have a life to blend with mine.
This is, of course, very silly. First, even unattached people have lives beyond the significant other. They have friends, family, career worries, money worries, goals, needs, and foibles. It's very easy to lose sight of this as a single non-parent, because your life is simply your life, and while it involves others, it's not inexorably linked to anyone's.
The second reason I should have kept an open mind about finding someone attached is kind of sad, but true. The number of divorces holds stead at a little more than half of the number of marriages. This means that, statistically, if I meet someone willing/ready to marry, chances are they're already divorced. In fact, five of the six men I've dated were then or are now divorced, and two of them have children.
There's this whole paradigm shift when you start dating someone with children. The picture of what your life is going to look like starts to shift. And there is always a moment of freak out. Mine started the evening of the first full day I spent with Scruffy's kids. I was not at all convinced that I was going to be able to handle sharing Scruffy not just with children, but with children that weren't mine. I would forever be linked to a person that Scruffy had loved before me, and for about an hour, that was completely unacceptable.
I got over it for selfish reasons. I literally cannot picture a person existing that I could ever love more than Scruffy. So I resigned myself to give it a college try, though in the back of my brain, I thought I knew that I would never be as happy as if Scruffy had never met his first wife.
But the kids changed my mind. I don't know quite when it happened, but they stopped being something I was going to have to get used to and started being status quo. Then the started being that brought me such joy. And now, I can't imagine my life without them.
It's still hard, because even though I love them, I'm not their mother. I don't know what each scar is for, I can't tell them baby stories, and there's always this feeling in the back of my brain that I'm being judged by the "real" parents around me. While I might know rationally this is untrue, the fear is still there.
We make it work though. I tell the kids stories about my family, and ask them about their scars. I do my best, and I love them, and all my parent friends tell me that's what matters. We have fun together, and love watching movies and playing games and dancing and just being a family. This is, of course, at ages 8 and 9. We'll see how the tweens and teens go...
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Things Nobody Tells You About Buying a Wedding Dress
There are probably hundreds of articles about the best way to buy a wedding dress. Personally, I don't think there's one right way to do anything, just the way that works best for that person at that time. But after my experience shopping for (and purchasing) a wedding dress, I'm pretty confident there's a wrong way.
So, in an effort to help future brides avoid my headaches, and perhaps give some past brides a chuckle or two, I present to you:
THINGS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT BUYING A WEDDING DRESS
1) You're gonna be topless or in your underwear in front of a total stranger.
It's funny, I had been a bridal consultant in my late teens, but this piece had somehow slipped my mind; you will be in a dressing room in all your strapless bra glory with someone you probably only met that day.
2) Pick who you shop with well.
Everyone has a different sense of style, so even though its important to pick someone with good taste, make sure they're also someone who respects *your* taste. I personally recommend limiting the group to 1 or 2 people. As they say, too many cooks spoil the soup. I was fortunate that my shopping companion was not only perfect for me, she was also my mom.
3) It helps to be tipsy.
Buying a wedding dress is stressful. They are, for the most part, white, which makes most of us feel bigger than we like. They are almost exclusively expensive. If you drink, consider having a glass of wine before you go. If you don't, consider meditation or yoga, something that will help you arrive in a happy, relaxed state.
4) Go local.
I'm a big girl who's trying to lose weight, used to work in Bridal Retail, and works as a freelance professional costumer, so I have very specific ideas about clothing. All of this makes me a very picky shopper. Now, as I said, every person is different. I've heard many storeis of girls who went to large chains like David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo, and found the dresses of their dreams. But if you're picky like me, a large chain store might not be for you. They have a script they follow, and they bring their own style and opinions to the table. A smaller salon will often offer a wider selection of designers and prices, and if you're lucky, they'll let you pick through the racks yourself. I had an excellent time at Jinny's Bridal.
5) Try on that weird one your mom likes.
You really never know what you're gonna like until you try it on. I had an idea of a soft, casual chiffon dress. My mom brought me one that was satin and had a lot pleating, and I didn't really think I'd like it seeing it on the hanger. But I LOVED it as soon as I tried it on. In fact, that was the dress I decided on in the end. So keep an open mind and try on suggestions you don't immediatly hate, even if they seem weird.
6) Don't buy a dress you've worn for less than 20 minutes.
Seriously, girls. You are going to wear this dress for eight hours minimum. You will dance, hug, walk (or if you're late, run), cry, laugh, eat, drink, and sit in this dress. Do you really want to commit yourself to dropping that kind of dough on a dress you don't feel comfortable in?
7) Add $200-400 to every price tag.
This one I knew about from my time in the industry, but no list such as this would be complete without mentioning: Tax and Alterations. Nobody is a perfect size 6, not even perfect size sixes. Chances are, something on your dress is going to need to be adjusted, and with alterations, you get what you pay for.
Let me say that again: you get what you pay for. Yes, your tailor can probably hem the dress, but a professional alterer will work more frequently with wedding dresses and will know how make those changes while preserving the style and look of your dress.
8) Don't over-research.
I'm a planner. Not as in a Wedding Planner, as in a person who makes plans and keeps journals and spreadsheets and folders. So both times when I went shopping, I had spent hours pouring over catalogs and websites, and had created online records and documents of which dresses I liked. What I found was that a) stores and salons often have the previous season's dresses which b) you will not have seen before and will only frustrate the sales associate and yourself searching for.
Its good to go with some style ideas and pictures for reference, but don't kill yourself pouring through an entire collection.
9) It's supposed to be fun.
Try to keep things in perspective. You've met the person of your dreams, and are preparing to spend your life with them. Your Wedding is the beginning of that, and it's an important day, but in the end, its a single day out of your life, and your wedding dress is a garment you will realistically only ever wear once. You want to be happy with it, but not having the dress you want will not ruin your marriage, or even your wedding. Remember the reason you're shopping in the first place, and you'll be fine.
So, in an effort to help future brides avoid my headaches, and perhaps give some past brides a chuckle or two, I present to you:
THINGS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT BUYING A WEDDING DRESS
1) You're gonna be topless or in your underwear in front of a total stranger.
It's funny, I had been a bridal consultant in my late teens, but this piece had somehow slipped my mind; you will be in a dressing room in all your strapless bra glory with someone you probably only met that day.
2) Pick who you shop with well.
Everyone has a different sense of style, so even though its important to pick someone with good taste, make sure they're also someone who respects *your* taste. I personally recommend limiting the group to 1 or 2 people. As they say, too many cooks spoil the soup. I was fortunate that my shopping companion was not only perfect for me, she was also my mom.
3) It helps to be tipsy.
Buying a wedding dress is stressful. They are, for the most part, white, which makes most of us feel bigger than we like. They are almost exclusively expensive. If you drink, consider having a glass of wine before you go. If you don't, consider meditation or yoga, something that will help you arrive in a happy, relaxed state.
4) Go local.
I'm a big girl who's trying to lose weight, used to work in Bridal Retail, and works as a freelance professional costumer, so I have very specific ideas about clothing. All of this makes me a very picky shopper. Now, as I said, every person is different. I've heard many storeis of girls who went to large chains like David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo, and found the dresses of their dreams. But if you're picky like me, a large chain store might not be for you. They have a script they follow, and they bring their own style and opinions to the table. A smaller salon will often offer a wider selection of designers and prices, and if you're lucky, they'll let you pick through the racks yourself. I had an excellent time at Jinny's Bridal.
5) Try on that weird one your mom likes.
You really never know what you're gonna like until you try it on. I had an idea of a soft, casual chiffon dress. My mom brought me one that was satin and had a lot pleating, and I didn't really think I'd like it seeing it on the hanger. But I LOVED it as soon as I tried it on. In fact, that was the dress I decided on in the end. So keep an open mind and try on suggestions you don't immediatly hate, even if they seem weird.
6) Don't buy a dress you've worn for less than 20 minutes.
Seriously, girls. You are going to wear this dress for eight hours minimum. You will dance, hug, walk (or if you're late, run), cry, laugh, eat, drink, and sit in this dress. Do you really want to commit yourself to dropping that kind of dough on a dress you don't feel comfortable in?
7) Add $200-400 to every price tag.
This one I knew about from my time in the industry, but no list such as this would be complete without mentioning: Tax and Alterations. Nobody is a perfect size 6, not even perfect size sixes. Chances are, something on your dress is going to need to be adjusted, and with alterations, you get what you pay for.
Let me say that again: you get what you pay for. Yes, your tailor can probably hem the dress, but a professional alterer will work more frequently with wedding dresses and will know how make those changes while preserving the style and look of your dress.
8) Don't over-research.
I'm a planner. Not as in a Wedding Planner, as in a person who makes plans and keeps journals and spreadsheets and folders. So both times when I went shopping, I had spent hours pouring over catalogs and websites, and had created online records and documents of which dresses I liked. What I found was that a) stores and salons often have the previous season's dresses which b) you will not have seen before and will only frustrate the sales associate and yourself searching for.
Its good to go with some style ideas and pictures for reference, but don't kill yourself pouring through an entire collection.
9) It's supposed to be fun.
Try to keep things in perspective. You've met the person of your dreams, and are preparing to spend your life with them. Your Wedding is the beginning of that, and it's an important day, but in the end, its a single day out of your life, and your wedding dress is a garment you will realistically only ever wear once. You want to be happy with it, but not having the dress you want will not ruin your marriage, or even your wedding. Remember the reason you're shopping in the first place, and you'll be fine.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Say "Yes" to the...
I haven't posted much for a while, mostly because my life has been in constant upheaval for... well for almost three years. To quote one of my favorite movies, let me sum up.
I met the love of my life (my Scruffy-Looking Nerfherder), and we moved in together in Long Beach. A few months after we moved, I was laid off, and started working for a new company in Lake Forest (where I had ironically moved *from*). A few months later, I had some seriously expensive legal and auto troubles. Long story short: change your address with the DMV when you move.
Fast forward to last summer, the Nerfherder finished college and found a job, allowing us to move closer to work in a bigger place so his kids from his previous marriage could come live with us. We became an instant family and have much joy and fun together. More upheaval, the Nerfherder lost his job, I lost my job, and we just about killed our credit getting through Christmas.
There was good though. My Nerfherder found a new job more in line with his skill set (he's an amazing artist and wants to make video games and movies). I found a new job working for a large, stable company and I'm really loving it.
And for my 30th birthday, the whole family was treated to a trip to Disneyland. We got the rockstar treatment, and during the Christmas Fireworks, my Scruffy-Looking Nerfherder became my Scruffy-Looking Fiance. We are getting married next Christmas, and are having a lot of fun planning.
Today I'm doing something I've never done before: I'm going shopping for a wedding dress. I'm both looking forward to it, and not. I've gained a lot of weight over the last three years and I'm not overly happy with how my body looks. Plus while I don't know what I want, I know what I DON'T want, which is about 80% of what is currently popular in Wedding Dresses. Add to that the fact that I'm still having some anxiety about the whole Wedding Process. I fully intend to do this only once (no seriously, if he dies or we get divorced, I'm eloping to Vegas with my next husband), so I want to make sure I'll be happy with the choices I make in 40 years.
Still, I've gone online and pinned the dresses I like in our price range from the store we're going to. My mom is SUPER excited, and she's one of my favorite people in whole world, so I know we'll have ridiculous amounts of fun. And I know that I'm going to burst into tears the first time I see myself in a wedding dress. So there's that.
So that's my life right now. New job, new kids, new relationship status, and planning a wedding. Should be a bumpy ride, but I'd love it if you came along anyway.
I met the love of my life (my Scruffy-Looking Nerfherder), and we moved in together in Long Beach. A few months after we moved, I was laid off, and started working for a new company in Lake Forest (where I had ironically moved *from*). A few months later, I had some seriously expensive legal and auto troubles. Long story short: change your address with the DMV when you move.
Fast forward to last summer, the Nerfherder finished college and found a job, allowing us to move closer to work in a bigger place so his kids from his previous marriage could come live with us. We became an instant family and have much joy and fun together. More upheaval, the Nerfherder lost his job, I lost my job, and we just about killed our credit getting through Christmas.
There was good though. My Nerfherder found a new job more in line with his skill set (he's an amazing artist and wants to make video games and movies). I found a new job working for a large, stable company and I'm really loving it.
And for my 30th birthday, the whole family was treated to a trip to Disneyland. We got the rockstar treatment, and during the Christmas Fireworks, my Scruffy-Looking Nerfherder became my Scruffy-Looking Fiance. We are getting married next Christmas, and are having a lot of fun planning.
Today I'm doing something I've never done before: I'm going shopping for a wedding dress. I'm both looking forward to it, and not. I've gained a lot of weight over the last three years and I'm not overly happy with how my body looks. Plus while I don't know what I want, I know what I DON'T want, which is about 80% of what is currently popular in Wedding Dresses. Add to that the fact that I'm still having some anxiety about the whole Wedding Process. I fully intend to do this only once (no seriously, if he dies or we get divorced, I'm eloping to Vegas with my next husband), so I want to make sure I'll be happy with the choices I make in 40 years.
Still, I've gone online and pinned the dresses I like in our price range from the store we're going to. My mom is SUPER excited, and she's one of my favorite people in whole world, so I know we'll have ridiculous amounts of fun. And I know that I'm going to burst into tears the first time I see myself in a wedding dress. So there's that.
So that's my life right now. New job, new kids, new relationship status, and planning a wedding. Should be a bumpy ride, but I'd love it if you came along anyway.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Why I'm Voting "NO" on Prop 37
Let me start by saying that I'm a foodie. I buy ethically-made ingredients, cook in the home, try to live as sustainably as I can with my limited means. And I'm voting NO on Prop 37.
1) I worked in the Wholesale Food Industry for almost two years, and I'm here to tell you that the term "USDA Organic" is a joke. Oh, it was intended to convey "Groovy Food Made By Groovy People", but what it really means is "No Pesticides". That's it. It doesn't cover GMOs, ethical practices, or sustainable qualities. It just means "No Pesticides." This in itself is important, but it certainly doesn't go far enough.
Prop 37 excludes all USDA Organic foods, which means that Monsanto can stop using pesticides and then they don't have to label their foods as containing GMOs.
2) There is also a rider in the law that outlaws the word, "natural", which I'm pretty sure is the actual reason the law was written. "Natural" is the word companies use to convey... well, anything they want, really, but it has become Industry Standard. So now thousands of small California Food Producers use it too, and if this law passes, they will have to spend $1500 PER PRODUCT to re-design and re-print their packaging. This means that hundreds of small businesses throughout California and it's surrounding states will close. And THAT means lots of jobless people in a state that has already has the highest unemployment in the nation.
As a current jobseeker, this is terrifying to me.
It also means that we'll loose a lot of variety in our foods, as Nabisco and Kraft become stronger because they have the resources to make the shift easily.
3) Every sticker raises the price of food $1. Period. Trust me, they cost the companies 25 cents, which means they cost the stores 50 cents, which means they cost you a dollar.
4) This law will necessitate people to regulate it, but doesn't raise taxes in any way. This means that in order to pay these new people, or increase the hours of people already working, State Officials will have to cut from "Non-essential programs" like Arts in Schools, New Teachers, Health-Insurance Assistance for Families, and lots of other programs that I care about.
I believe that GMOs should be outlawed. Prop 37 will make it even harder for real change to happen, because a) some people will think it goes far enough, and b) with a law on the books with so many loopholes, it will be difficult to pass a law that actually helps. A law like this NEEDS to be on the books, but Prop 37 is the wrong one. If you care about food prices, schools, and small businesses, please vote NO on Prop 37.
1) I worked in the Wholesale Food Industry for almost two years, and I'm here to tell you that the term "USDA Organic" is a joke. Oh, it was intended to convey "Groovy Food Made By Groovy People", but what it really means is "No Pesticides". That's it. It doesn't cover GMOs, ethical practices, or sustainable qualities. It just means "No Pesticides." This in itself is important, but it certainly doesn't go far enough.
Prop 37 excludes all USDA Organic foods, which means that Monsanto can stop using pesticides and then they don't have to label their foods as containing GMOs.
2) There is also a rider in the law that outlaws the word, "natural", which I'm pretty sure is the actual reason the law was written. "Natural" is the word companies use to convey... well, anything they want, really, but it has become Industry Standard. So now thousands of small California Food Producers use it too, and if this law passes, they will have to spend $1500 PER PRODUCT to re-design and re-print their packaging. This means that hundreds of small businesses throughout California and it's surrounding states will close. And THAT means lots of jobless people in a state that has already has the highest unemployment in the nation.
As a current jobseeker, this is terrifying to me.
It also means that we'll loose a lot of variety in our foods, as Nabisco and Kraft become stronger because they have the resources to make the shift easily.
3) Every sticker raises the price of food $1. Period. Trust me, they cost the companies 25 cents, which means they cost the stores 50 cents, which means they cost you a dollar.
4) This law will necessitate people to regulate it, but doesn't raise taxes in any way. This means that in order to pay these new people, or increase the hours of people already working, State Officials will have to cut from "Non-essential programs" like Arts in Schools, New Teachers, Health-Insurance Assistance for Families, and lots of other programs that I care about.
I believe that GMOs should be outlawed. Prop 37 will make it even harder for real change to happen, because a) some people will think it goes far enough, and b) with a law on the books with so many loopholes, it will be difficult to pass a law that actually helps. A law like this NEEDS to be on the books, but Prop 37 is the wrong one. If you care about food prices, schools, and small businesses, please vote NO on Prop 37.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
SOPA
Hello Congresswoman Richardson,
Thanks very much for your reply. I would like to add a few thoughts to my previous letter.
As an independent musician, I share your concerns regarding the pirating of copyrighted works. The practice has become so commonplace that fans have told me to my face that they had shared my music with their friends. This cuts into my profit margins considerably, especially since my works are largely self-produced.
However, I strongly feel that attempting to control the internet is not the solution to this problem. Independent producers such as myself have become famous because of the internet, and I can't help but suspect that the reason so many large companies are backing this bill is because they're tired of losing their business to independent artist like myself. We have become tired of a broken system where talent and quality doesn't matter as much as having the right "look" or being connected to the right people, and so we've created a community of our own where our art can be shared at our discretion. I can't help but feeling that companies like Sony and Time Warner are resentful of the internet, because they now must try to catch up the proverbial bus that many of us have been on for a decade or more.
Controlling the internet will not make thieves into honest people, it will only make them more creative, or perhaps even more violent in how they steal. There will always be people who think it's okay to take what isn't theirs, and passing a law that limits one avenue will not change that. The only thing it will serve to do is hurt small businesses, and independent artists and musicians. If those people are not able to make the money they currently make through internet sales, we will see a rise in unemployment, a downturn in economic growth, and potentially an increase in civil unrest.
Congresswoman, I know that there are many people writing to you today, and I am one voice among many. Perhaps it will not be my words, but our numbers that move you. Perhaps you will see that the only people who want to limit the internet are people who want to limit the information available to only what they think is relevant. Or perhaps these measure will pass, and we will see a new kind of militarized state emerge. You and your fellows are in the unique position of creating history today, and I hope you make choices with the future in mind.
Thank you for your time today, Congresswoman Richardson, and Happy New Year.
Warm Regards,
Claire Broderick
Monday, January 9, 2012
Smug Alert in Long Beach
There are lots of places you can see the best and worst of people, but I think that in no situation is the true measure of a person so blatant as at the supermarket on a workday at 6pm. Everyone there is tired and hungry, and most of them just want to get in, get out, and either make or eat dinner.
Today was no except, as I had two... okay three... okay no FOUR, just four things to pick up on the way home tonight: bread, milk, beer, wine. (I know, the basics, right?). Long Beach recently passed a city ordinance banning plastic grocery bags. They publicized this new law and its implementation exclusively in local print media. Give that one a whirl in your brain for a minute.
Anyway, for once, I not only had bags in my car, but remembered the law, and remembered that I needed one. Smugly clutching my cloth bag to my chest, I walked the aisles of the newly-opened Fresh and Easy just blocks from my house, zeroing in on the things I was actually there for so I wouldn't be distracted by shiny things like cheese. Actually, thinking now I realize we needed cheese... phooey...
Moving on. I made it through the store in record time, and got to the real time-buster; the check-out lines. This is where the true test of humanity lies. Because here we are, knowing that a long wait here can literally double the time before we are sitting in our couch in our comfy pants eating whatever constitutes dinner and wondering whether, "traffic" is a reasonable excuse to open a bottle of wine. Pro tip: yes it is.
Living in Long Beach, I get to see all kinds of truly colorful characters. From the homeless lady up and down sixth street who always has hair extensions well past her waist, to the most depressed-looking man ever whose hole-ridden Members Only Jacket is always freshly cleaned. Fresh and Easy's line today was no exception. In an effort to cut down on staffing, I'm sure, this chain has no checkers, only people to verify age and make sure nobody steals stuff.
The woman I was next to in line was very distracted. I'm not sure if this store was new to her, or if she simply was a distractible person, but when the person ahead of her had finished, she was facing in the complete opposite direction of the check stand. Feeling the vultures circling overheard, I called., "Excuse me ma'am, but I think they're done."
Sure enough, as she thanked me and stepped forward, there he was. A tall, thinnish gentleman who was certainly old enough to know better, halted in the very act of sneaking between the stand and the woman's basket to preempt her spot in line. He awkwardly stepped back in front of his own line and shot me a look of consternation that quickly turned to mollification as he saw me looking him.
"Not today, sir," I thought, as I moved forward to my own stand to make my purchase. And so, smugly, I paid for my things using my reusable bag (smug) which I remembered (smug smug), and did NOT hit the lady with the death wish who literally ran behind my car (smug smug smug). I came home to find a parking space on my side of the street on street-sweeping eve (smug smug smug smug). Sometimes being a good person is it's own reward, but it's nice to get instant Karma as well.
Today was no except, as I had two... okay three... okay no FOUR, just four things to pick up on the way home tonight: bread, milk, beer, wine. (I know, the basics, right?). Long Beach recently passed a city ordinance banning plastic grocery bags. They publicized this new law and its implementation exclusively in local print media. Give that one a whirl in your brain for a minute.
Anyway, for once, I not only had bags in my car, but remembered the law, and remembered that I needed one. Smugly clutching my cloth bag to my chest, I walked the aisles of the newly-opened Fresh and Easy just blocks from my house, zeroing in on the things I was actually there for so I wouldn't be distracted by shiny things like cheese. Actually, thinking now I realize we needed cheese... phooey...
Moving on. I made it through the store in record time, and got to the real time-buster; the check-out lines. This is where the true test of humanity lies. Because here we are, knowing that a long wait here can literally double the time before we are sitting in our couch in our comfy pants eating whatever constitutes dinner and wondering whether, "traffic" is a reasonable excuse to open a bottle of wine. Pro tip: yes it is.
Living in Long Beach, I get to see all kinds of truly colorful characters. From the homeless lady up and down sixth street who always has hair extensions well past her waist, to the most depressed-looking man ever whose hole-ridden Members Only Jacket is always freshly cleaned. Fresh and Easy's line today was no exception. In an effort to cut down on staffing, I'm sure, this chain has no checkers, only people to verify age and make sure nobody steals stuff.
The woman I was next to in line was very distracted. I'm not sure if this store was new to her, or if she simply was a distractible person, but when the person ahead of her had finished, she was facing in the complete opposite direction of the check stand. Feeling the vultures circling overheard, I called., "Excuse me ma'am, but I think they're done."
Sure enough, as she thanked me and stepped forward, there he was. A tall, thinnish gentleman who was certainly old enough to know better, halted in the very act of sneaking between the stand and the woman's basket to preempt her spot in line. He awkwardly stepped back in front of his own line and shot me a look of consternation that quickly turned to mollification as he saw me looking him.
"Not today, sir," I thought, as I moved forward to my own stand to make my purchase. And so, smugly, I paid for my things using my reusable bag (smug) which I remembered (smug smug), and did NOT hit the lady with the death wish who literally ran behind my car (smug smug smug). I came home to find a parking space on my side of the street on street-sweeping eve (smug smug smug smug). Sometimes being a good person is it's own reward, but it's nice to get instant Karma as well.
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